visions for princesses

Slowly but surely I will unveil parts of my California trip.  Right now, I am still trying to unpack what went on in my brain and heart.  Things that were so big and life-changing happened to me.  I am not the same woman I was when I left.  Sure, I still look the same and still have the same struggles.  But, I have changed.  Most people wouldn't recognize the changes.  My family does.  It is bringing life and death in our home.  Parts of my "metamorphosis" is welcome... others are met with resistance.

It is not easy being me.  I see clearly that I a woman gifted with things that the world does not like.  Honestly, sometimes I don't even like my gifts.  Being a truth speaker at all costs, and having a heart that just won't settle may leave me friendless.  My heart aches at times with lonely passion.  I thank God for the Moses(es) and Abrahams.  They remind me, as God calls me out into unknown territory that as I struggle I must put one foot in front of the other towards a greater unknown.  I think Moses and Abraham struggled with weariness and loneliness.  So blessed that they paint a messy picture of perseverance that I can hold on to.

        

Do you see this girl?

She has been gifted in the arts.  She has a passion and ability to express herself through worship.  She reminds me to fight to remain UNSETTLED.  As I was in California, my eyes were opened to many different forms of worshipping our God.  I want to know more about these things so that I can teach a little princess by the name of Emmiline, how to dance, paint and wave banners for our KING.  Oh, I am hungry to teach this little one.  I am uneducated but I am a learner, and I won't settle....I can't, because..

these two princesses also need me to learn and battle on their behalf.  All have different gifts and needs...all remind me of my neediness.  Today, like most, I cry out to God.  I ask Him to fan the flame of passion in me.  I ask for him to give me courage....more hope...faith and strong legs.  And, I ask for a Good Pastor, that will hold my hand and cheer me on.  After all, I have 3 sons to fight for too.  I welcome your prayers.