I didn't realize when I was enjoying watching him dig that God had a message for me today. The day has been fine.....nothing to complain about, but I have had a day of wrestling. I have thought about it a lot. What is the source of my struggle? Why am I feeling heavy? Why am I discouraged. Was it because every project I seemed to touch failed? Was it because I was low on energy? Was it because Pastor told me he was having another interview with the Ohio church???? Why was I feeling so funky??? I think God has been inviting me today to dig....search....seek. With each passing day I am learning that I have so many layers. So many confusing shapes to weed through so I can really find what I am looking for. Today, I am seeking healing for the many broken layers...especially the ones not yet discovered, ones I can't name.....ones I am still digging for. I am a woman with many hurts, insecurities and fears. I am also a woman with many passions, convictions and joy.
Today, I had unhurried time with my older princesses. They are joy-givers, and they are a daily reminder that my life has purpose and value. Emmiline and Eloise encourage me in ways I cannot express. By the Spirit's work they issue a call to keep digging.
They remind me that freedom comes from naming. Naming brings healing. Healing of their mommy is a gift for the whole Vaughan family. This will be a lifelong and costly process.
Today I enjoyed the gift of watching these two ladies freely raise their hands in worship to a United Pursuit song in the back of our car...the words were "Fill me up, God." We were all three singing these words with great passion and asking. Yes, may the Spirit fill us up. Less of me...more of HIM.
 |
| Just like Bud I want to be filled up with the treasure. I want to taste and see that He is good...always good...and even though the digging is messy I know it is worth it....for HIS treasure is inside ME. |
sounds like you're a real normal woman!
ReplyDelete