Looking

Looking

Waiting

Curious

Watching

Anticipating

Freedom

Expectant

These words summarize my heart. They also remind me of our little Charli.

I don't mean this in a derogatory way, but it often feels like Charli is very much like a pet. She crawls across the floor... she chews on anything she can find... she occasionally barks or squawks. As I mentioned yesterday, when she wants attention, she crawls up to me and bumps her head into my body. This little monkey has developed a few predictably, common practices. For one, she throws her pacifier out of her bed... every day. Another one..she also crawls up to the windows in the house just to look outside. Occasionally, she'll yell at someone or something, but usually it's just to look... as if she's expecting something.

Still trying to figure out what it is that I'm looking for. I think I'll know it when I see it. Wanting to dream. Not totally sure how to do it. The whole “risk” part of dreaming seems to keep me too grounded.

Talked with Kel a few more times lately. (She's out of town at a conference.) She's anything but “grounded,” and it's awesome... exciting, terrifying, paradigm-altering, beautiful, enticing...

Can't wait to see her... I know she's not coming back until Monday morning, but so excited that I feel like I'm ready to start staring out the windows in anticipation of her arrival now. Sounds like there are some major, new, fresh, stirrings within her... hope I recognize her. Have a feeling I'll be just as crazy excited even if I don't...