Well, I just got back from Alaska today. My dad and I had a pretty adventurous time in that amazing state… bouncing from hostels to backcountry wilderness. All in all it was an amazing experience. My body’s pretty tired. Never got the hang of sleeping when the sun doesn’t completely go down this time of year… (that’s right… nearly 24 hours of daylight).
As we were driving around one day, my dad looked at me and said, “Now Clark, that there is what you call an R…… V….” Maybe you remember this quote from Randy Quaid (Cousin Eddie) in Christmas Vacation. This quote was especially funny because my dad is Clark Griswald. That’s not figurative language. He inspired the character Clark Griswald, and I’m firmly convinced we could sue that his story has been stolen and put in the movies. (Again, I’m all about suing.) Anyways, we saw hundreds of RVs, and of course I had to say that quote every time I saw one. Sometimes I can wear things out… at least in other peoples’ minds.
As I laughed at Randy Quaid’s character in Christmas Vacation my mind was flooded with all of the funny lines in the movie. There are too many to count. One in particular struck me though…
Have you ever experienced how someone else could so clearly articulate what was going on inside of you? I’ve felt that way when I’ve read the psalms at times. I’ve felt that way talking to a close friend or counselor. They’re able to put to words what I can’t quite form. It can even happen in poetry. The power of metaphor to communicate what’s deep within is incredible. Something about putting those feelings or thoughts to words is really healthy for me.
As I’ve sat in the struggle of the last year and a half I’ve often felt my heart couldn’t possibly handle any more. There’s just been too much pain and loss. Randy Quaid articulated it so poetically when he said, “The shitter’s full!” (Very sorry for the profanity… for some reason my conscience is less bothered to type them than say them. Again, apologize if it offends you.) Those words (“The shitter’s full!”) seem to sum up how my heart’s felt. It couldn’t possibly handle any more. It needed to be emptied of some messiness… it’s been a year and a half full of “it.” I’ve felt like I’ve been overflowing it at times.
At the same time much is stirring within… I think my mind has known that Christ is with me and for me. It hasn’t always felt that way, but I remembered truth and knew. However, I am starting to believe more than ever that He is also in me. In the midst of everything… He is in me. Hope to learn more about that. In the meantime, grateful not to be missing every lesson that could be learned. Often feel like I’m going through struggles and turn a deaf ear to what God’s saying in the midst of it.