Questioning

Especially the last 24 hours but even several days before that I have been questioning a lot.  I've been asking the question, "Why?" and "Is there more?"  I'm not asking those questions out of significant disappointment or hurt.  Actually, I'm asking them out of a hunger for more.  I'm asking them mainly about two things right now.


Larry Crabb gave each of us a copy of his book, Real Church.  He claimed to give it to us because it never sold well.  He's surprsingly hysterical.  Anyways, as I began reading the book I noticed a very strong defensiveness take over my heart and mind.  In the book he asks the question, "What should church look like and be about?"  Now let me preface a few thoughts.  First off, I'm so tired of people bashing the church.  The authors who make big bucks by bashing the church need to be punched in the nose, and I'll volunteer to do it.  I'll repent later so that will make it all okay.  (Actually, I'm already forgiven of my future sins... so I guess I'm ready to punch.  Aim me in the right direction.)  No, seriously, I'm tired of people I know bashing the church.  It is the bride of Christ!  I believe it is what I have been called to commit my life to... connecting people to the hope of glory, Jesus Christ. 


At the same time, I'm questioning things, and Larry Crabb makes many valid points.  I'm not saying anything negative about the churches I've been a part of... I deeply love all of them.  I'm just saying that I am wondering, "What should the church really look like?  Why do people not enjoy going to church?"  Not communicating it should be about "enjoying," but it definitely shouldn't be dull, boring and lifeless.  What about "life to the full?"  If you were to ask yourself, "Why do you go to church?"  (or, "why don't I go to church?")  I wonder what you'd say.  Like me you'd probably have a list of reasons.  If you / I were to rank them in some sort of hierarchy, what would be the main reason that we do or don't go to church?  Is that the reason we should be going to church?  Is that what church is all about?  Again, what could it look like and be about?


Another thing I've really been questioning is the Sabbath.  I've had various seasons in my life where I've been more intentional about thinking and praying about... and practicing the Sabbath.  However, after many discussions with Kelly, something is being stirred that is causing me to rethink what it should look like in my life and my family.  By "should" look like I think I'm really meaning, "could" look like... as in a positive thing.  Kelly and I have been chewing on Hebrews 4.  Seems we're not only invited into Sabbath rest, but we're also strongly commanded to.  The language is extremely powerful as it stresses the importance of this.  I think it means much more than what I've made it.  I've read books on the Sabbath and made small changes in my life (some of which I've made a consistent part of my life); however, I'm ready for it to be the day of rest it was meant to be.  Not sure how or what that will look like, but I'm enjoying the process of processing and hoping for more.