Today my middle princess, Eloise turns seven. This is a long awaited day for her. The countdown began almost a year ago. She is a young lady full of life and hope. I see a lot of myself (Kelly) in her. Mostly, I see parts of me that used to be alive that I have deadened. She has an unlimited capacity for joy and hope. She also has an endless supply of tears both for sharing laughter and sorrow. Eloise is the teacher, and I am the student in the school of being alive.
We are celebrating our sweet girl today, and we are still trying to adjust to life back together. It has been so rich to hear all that God has been up to in Adam. I am blessed to see His stirring, and I am stirred as well. I have to remember in the excitement that God is expanding our vision and changing us, but we are NOT fixed. The broken places are still broken. The hurt places still hurt. This is still not our home, and we are still aliens. No conference or school will change that fact. So, today we walk on. We ask God to show us how to live in the midst of our wrestling. We are no less needy than we were a week ago, but we are being refined and, therefore, have hope.
Eloise reminds me and all of my family to enjoy life. She is also a tool of remembrance. Even as I type this she has issued a call (in her 7 year old way) not to forget my twin sons and that I am a mother of triplets. It was a light comment, and then she was back to business on her scooter. She shows me that I can be fully alive, fully aware, and in touch with my story in the midst of my everyday life. We can own our story and the pain in it and still enjoy the art of playing.
Today, I am enjoying my story. Aslan is on the move in my family. I see His ferocious paw prints everywhere. I also sense the comfort of His strength on my behalf. I need Him like never before. I love Him like never before, and I am seeing Him like never before. I am alive....Yes! But, in becoming more alive I also have better vision to see all the ways that I am still enslaved. Oh, this vicious cycle!
Happy Birthday, Eloise. God knew that I would need the gift of you in my life. Thank you for being a teacher to this stubborn, tired heart. You make me hungry for a better place, better dreams, and a better me.
Oh my precious sis, that´s why God gives us children, a little piece of you to remind you of who you are when you have forgotten :-) I love the way she reminded you that Carli is a triplet. What a beautiful family you are! I do bear witness that Aslan is on the move in your family! He is bringing you into a new place of growth, dedication, and increased vision. A new place so that you can see clearly because where you were was not allowing you to see all that He has for you. I know is hard to see because your eyes have not ajusted yet...it´s a new lense and it takes time...But one thing I can promise you that our Abba shared with me, you would have never believed it if He had told you! The beauty that He has for your ashes is beyond anything that you could think or imagine. God is provoking you through Eloise to hunger and thirst for His righteousness and at the same time He is reminding you with the chip of the "young" block to trust Him fully, open wide and let go so that you can experience all that He has for all of you... Mom sets the tempeture in the house :-) I love you so much! Simi
ReplyDelete"I wonder how people who don't have children ever grow up." --quoted from Cathy Angel
ReplyDeleteAn awful lot of what I know I learned from mine. Hang in there!