Very tired

Man, feeling tired.  Not just my body though.  It's more than that.  There's the martyr within me that wants to ramble and rant about the things that are making me tired.  That's not really helpful or healthy.  We've all got those lists.

(by the way, this is Adam writing this one).  Feeling like my mind's in two places.  Catching myself not being as engaged as I'd like to be... noticing this often.  This makes me tired too... that my mind is racing, but it's kind of like there's nobody home upstairs ("if you know what I mean").

My body is tired, but there's a tiredness that isn't really refreshed with a good night's sleep.  Seems I'm always waiting and hoping for that next thing (i.e. selling the house, all living in the same city, etc.), but I can forget to enjoy, engage and seize the opportunities given to me in the now.

Much contributing to the tiredness.  So much to be grateful for... still much that feels rather taxing.  On top of that, my little ones are struggling.  This makes my heart struggle.  As Kel mentioned, Shorty's really had a hard time with the croup.  So grateful she's making good progress.  Unfortunately, little Bud feels terrible now.  Heart-breaking to see that little dude feel so gross.  Praying Charli does not get it.  That could be very bad.

Little Charli continues to be the feisty, princess warrior that she is.  Seeming hungry most of the time, but refusing to take her formula like she should... we'll just say that I often blame her strong will as the reason for my anger... I know.  Very sad... blaming my anger on the sick preemie.

Can't communicate how excited I am about my new position at the Vineyard.  I know I've mentioned that a few times already, but also feeling so tired as I think about all the time away from my family.  It's not the driving or work that make me tired.  I think it's the strain on the heart.

Very aware that I'm not the only one experiencing pretty significant degrees of tiredness lately.

Charli asleep in the car (this never happens).  Feeling exhausted after blood work at the hospital this week and a visit to the pediatrician's.

Papaw asleep while Bud watches Dora in his lap.

Back view of Shorty... it was only 6:15pm.

Front view... sleeping beauty, but she had lost her giggle and bounce.

No, I'm not a creeper or a stalker.  It might look like it after you see just a few of my pics I've caught of people sleeping.

Took the picture below earlier today.  Sensing that the person in this costume might be a creeper.  Not sure why.  I will say that Charli's never been afraid of any toys, costumes, etc.  (all my other kids were!)  I've even put on my luchador mask a few times to see how she responds.  There's sometimes a strange look on her pretty, little baby face, but I'd never describe it as fear.  With this creeper below she communicated much fear today.

Not sure why, but I suspect that the Shoney Bear looks something like Smeagol (from the Lord of the Rings movies) underneath that costume.  He's finally socially accepted because his true appearance is hidden from sight.  Have no idea why I think that.  Maybe Charli's suspicions instigated it.  Maybe the tiredness is playing tricks on my brain.  Not sure.  Just know whether I'm tired or not I'm not asking him to babysit.