Learning

Asking myself what I'm learning today. Not sure. Not aware of much. Asking myself what God's saying to me today. Not sure about that either.

After sitting on those questions a little more... sensing God's telling me, “If you say that you want to be about 'these things,' then you should be about them whether you get a paycheck doing them or not.” That makes sense. Also sensing He's inviting me to persevere. My sweet wife shared some good words with me... as she always does.

God's given she and I a new, fresh, powerful hunger for more of Him. It's very strange. We want more of the Spirit. More of Him in any way He might choose to offer it. We're looking and expecting more of Him. We've heard talk of the Holy Spirit, and we've articulated much about Him. However, we're wanting to functionally practice life through the power of Him in us and through us. This could be radically different than how we've practiced in the past. Although revealed in the scripture, He is not contained by the scripture. He does strange things. Don't want my theology to serve as a self-protection mechanism against what could be Him working in unusual ways.

Yet, in seeking Him in new / different ways, I forgot something that Kel reminded me of tonight. For the first time ever I'm really looking for (and expecting!) the miraculous... healings, prophetic words, etc. At the same time, what I'm forgetting is I need to look for and believe in those things, but I must not lose sight of the call to persevere.

This morning I told Kel, “I'm growing weary.” It was true. That's how I felt. At the same time I said it because I was baiting her to speak truth back into my heart. Truth that I my mind already knew from the scriptures. She has done that. She's very faithful to do that.

Learning to... stay true to my calling. Reminded to persevere. Be willing to look like a freak show when necessary if I'm sensing my actions are of the Lord. Still embracing my awkwardness. Much to learn. Maybe I need to learn to be more awkward in some ways.