An Invitation to Eavesdrop: ripped at the seam

As I (Kelly) type this, my two oldest princesses are sewing downstairs. I am enjoying the sounds of two sister-friends enjoying each other and creating something beautiful from scraps. I am not really involved in their makings. Today, I am simply an eavesdropper on the artistry taking place. Thankfulness is present in our home right now.

Emmiline has been sewing and creating a lot lately. I don’t mind telling you that my 9 year old daughter is already a better seamstress than I am. God has equipped her with special traits that have allowed her to become an artist with her machine. The other day she was working on a project and did something wrong. I showed her what we needed to do to mend the situation. She was going to have to rip it apart. It was painful for her to take the seam out of what she had been so diligently working on. As I watched her I saw myself in her project. Her delicate little fingers gently de-threading. She desired change. She desired greater beauty for her project. She was un-doing what had been done, but it was painful for her.

Oh, this is how I feel about my life. God in his divine mercy has used the death of my sons and the loss of Adam’s job to slowly rip the seams that have so shaped my life. He is inviting me to become something better….something more. The ripping is painful (for me and the Lord), time consuming, and a tedious process. I do feel frayed and tattered, but I am starting to see the hand guiding me tenderly in a new direction. I am sensing motion towards what I am becoming. I am starting to have a vision of beauty…out of the death of my sons…beauty is blooming. I see it in my backyard... in their garden. I can see it in my family. I see it in me. What a wild God we serve! He loves me with a perfect love. And, because of this perfect love He is always gently removing old threads and seams so that I can become a beautiful masterpiece. He grieves when I grieve, but He always sees what often I cannot…the beauty underway.