Impressive?

I did something today that I have not done for over 7 years.  I know you’re probably racking your brain trying to come up with something obscure.  It’s a fairly normal thing to do.  I just don’t ever do it.

I mowed the grass.  Let me clarify.  That “mowed” statement overcommunicates what I actually did.  I really just mowed the back yard.  No, we don’t have a lawn service.  In all honesty, Kelly has mowed the yard for at least the last 7 years.  I know it’s more than 7 years because I can so vividly remember her mowing the grass while 9 months pregnant with Eloise (who is 7).  If by some chance I happen to forget that, my former neighbors would gladly remind me.

Some of the husbands that have witnessed Kelly mowing (also during her complete pregnancy with Elliott also)… well, some of them have thought of me as an extremely impressive man.  “How in the world did he get her to do that?  Can he teach me his methods?”  Those are some thoughts a few of them have had.  Others have thought that I should go hide under a rock and swallow the shame I’ve self-imposed.

I actually “tried” to put my foot down a couple times.  I’d say, “I am going to mow this time.”  Kelly would giggle, and then she would put on her mowing shoes as if I had just provided some humorous entertainment.

Well, Kelly got back late this afternoon.  Before she got home I trimmed and mowed the back yard (she had already mowed the front yard a few days ago)… here’s the extra pathetic part.  I was dying inside for her to notice it and make a comment… waiting for her to say, “Oh thanks for mowing.  I really appreciate that.”  I would humbly brush it off with, “It’s no big deal.  You always do it.”  Then I’d cleverly shift the subject of the conversation to show that I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that I had done some yard work.  The really sad thing is that I had even dropped a line saying, “Kel, remind me that I need to get some more fuel for the trimmer.”  That might have been my literal words, but what I communicated was, “I want to make sure you know that I trimmed / weed-eated today (which I do about once every 6 to 8 weeks).  I also want to make sure I get credit for it… (as if she’s keeping a tally… which would mean I’d have one tally mark in the last 7 years).  Then the fact that I trimmed should draw your attention to the fact that I mowed too.”

In previous blogs I’ve shared about bathroom righteousness and even Bible righteousness… I guess now I’ve got mowing righteousness.  Isn’t it funny… or really sad how much we seek credit?  I know I’m projecting that onto you too since I changed it to “we.”  Forgive me if you don’t do that at all.  I guess I’m just blown away by the sin I commit in the midst of relationships.  I almost called them, “little sins.”  That would have communicated that they didn’t matter to God.  That’s obviously not the truth.  I think I might have come close to calling them that to appease my conscience.  That’s probably the best way for a heart to grow hard… say that certain sins are okay. 

Well, hopeful for more change in me… as I’ve said before, I am glad for a raised awareness of some of my messiness.  That’s a good thing.  It’s just never pretty to see.