Flying Solo

My better half, as they say, is out of town.  She rarely goes out of town.  In June alone I was gone for 17 days.  Grateful that she is able to get away for 48 hours, but I really miss her when she’s gone.  She’s easy to miss.

At the same time the house doesn’t seem to function very smoothly without her.  I love the time with the kids, but I’m not very good at the single dad thing.  God’s definitely made us differently.  Obviously, this isn’t the first time I’ve noticed this.

All and all it’s been a really good day.  Between yesterday and today I’ve gotten to spend some great time with special friends.  My struggle is that as I fly solo I’m just not able to get much of anything done.  Don’t worry… I’m not taking it back to the inherent need to perform or the inaccurate view of identity being determined by what we do.  I’m just saying that I didn’t get much done to contribute toward anything.

One of my best friends texted me to see how today went without Kel.  I responded, “Good day.  Just didn’t get much done.”  He basically said, “Um, you contributed to the growth and development of your children.  If that’s all you ever get done (if it’s the only thing you ever get done) – it’s always plenty.”  It was a good word.  Seems it’s easy to lose sight of that when the grass seems tall or toys are covering the floor… it’s just too easy to lose sight of what matters.

I know God’s taught me these lessons in the past.  I’m just tired of forgetting them.  Seriously… could a few more things sink in deeper to my little brain?  I often wonder if I have some type of amnesia.  I usually forget about it shortly afterwards.  Need to invent some kind of pill that will help me remember things I’ve already learned.  Don’t want to have to learn those same lessons again through tough circumstances.  If I can’t make a pill that could help me remember what God's taught me, that would change everything.  Actually, that’s just not very realistic.  Maybe I could just get a flex capacitor offline.  I saw an old DeLorean at the Farragut parade this week.  Maybe I could borrow it for the future and return it in the past?  It’d be good to see old Doc Brown anyways.

I’m losing my mind.  Staying up too late.  Miss my better half.  She helps me make sense of myself.