Last night God reminded me of some some truths He has been depositing in me. It is a passage in Hebrews 10. The verses remind us that in a little while He is coming and He will not delay. The righteous shall live by FAITH...we are not to SHRINK BACK, we are to persevere.....I am called to be a woman that DOES NOT SHRINK BACK. I needed that last night. I needed it even more this morning as I shared hard heart talks with my sister-in law.
This morning we finally got word from the doctors regarding my niece's surgery. She has tumors in her brain and on her spine. As we shared tears I felt the urgency to remember the scriptures....to remember the late night truth of Hebrews. We do not shrink back. We HOPE....we persevere....we cry, and we CRY OUT for miracles...because our God is a WAYMAKER....Jehovah Rapha is His name. I love this God....and HE deeply loves His people. So, today....I am reminded as we enter in to another time of change... He desires for me to look for FRUIT in all seasons.
He wants me to remember past provisions...and trust for future ones....Jehovah Jireh.
He calls me to be a woman of courage and tenderly invites me to plunge into the waters in order to grasp the fruit of each new season.
I don't want to shrink back so I pull my hair up.....take a breath....wildly abandon myself to my Maker, and I put my face right down in it. It's cold. It's unknown, it feels suffocating...but I DON'T WANT TO SHRINK BACK because of fear. I press in deeper...I press in harder...I fight to HOPE expectantly...TRUSTING... KNOWING .... CERTAIN.... in my breathlessness.... that....
He who promises is FAITHFUL....all the time. Swallowing hard as I type....eyes that want to pour heart out all over the place. I am still very much me and alive and so I wrestle with fear....fear regarding our future and fear regarding my sweet, 5 year old, princess-niece, Elaina. I will call and cry out to my Daddy that grows fruit and restores what the locusts have eaten. He can be trusted. I am not my own. I have been bought with a price. My story is His to tell, and yet He invites me to co-author with Him...dream alongside. Today, I am remembering. I am getting prepared for battle. I will warrior for my niece....my family....not because it's of me....but because it's of HIM, and His fruit bearing seed is alive and growing in me.
My face is down in it today.....DEEP.....Truth....Hope....A perfect-loving Daddy...a heart full of passionate desire....The Spirit....miracles longed for....and PERSEVERANCE ....these are things that are budding on my fruit tree....with watermarks and tears all over my face.
Kelly this post reminds me of a song..."In your water I'm ankle deep. I feel the waves washing on my feet. There's only one way to figure out. But will you let me drown? Will you let me drown? Hey now, this is my desire, consume me like a fire cause I just want something beautiful to touch me..." Always makes me cry. Because I'm afraid of drowning. Because I know HE is bigger than that, but the pain is hard. We love you guys and we are praying for you.
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