Excruciating

Waiting. No word from my friends in Ohio. Man, it's been hard to wait today. Monday wasn't too bad. Tuesday was very bearable, but for some reason today has been very hard. Alright, I'll be more honest. It's been excruciating.

This is what I looked at countless times today.

I've been known to have some obsessive compulsive issues with my email and my planner. We'll just say that I was constantly looking at the computer today... constantly checking email. It felt like old times. At one point I began to think that there must be some problem with my email account. I sent myself an email (just to make sure it was working properly). Gmail was working just fine. Big surprise.

Been asking God, “What are you saying to me? What am I supposed to learn through this waiting?” It's definitely revealing to a greater extent how much I'd like to have the opportunity to serve at this church. Is that all I'm supposed to learn?

I've also had the song, “While I'm Waiting,” stuck in my brain today. Basically the song speaks of waiting... even though it can be painful. It's not easy. Trying to remain hopeful. In the meantime, while we're waiting, we should worship and serve. Good words for me to hear.

Thinking a lot about perspective today. I read about a woman whose young daughter took a lot of pictures of household items from the mom's camera. When the mom looked at the pictures, it took her a minute to make sense of them. The objects in the pictures were not foreign to her, but the vantage point from which they were taken was so drastically different. Her daughter was a little over 3 feet tall. The daughter's angle was unfamiliar... even captivating.

Grateful for a different perspective on life, on employment, on family, on moving... My mind wonders to the desperately impoverished Christians living in the dump (literally) in Tijuana. Their hearts overflow with gratitude and joy. It's a different perspective. It's a different vantage point... much like the little girl with the camera had a different vantage point. Joy seems to come more easily from this vantage point. Seems I find myself envious of those people at times.

Learning from a new vantage point these days. Longing. Still grateful.

I'd still like to be done waiting though.