I had some time to process what this day would've been like for precious Mary as she made way for the King through her very own flesh. How she must've felt such relief after the journey of travel and pregnancy itself. No doubt just hours before she was consumed with such pain she was about to reach her limit. Now... the life of pregnancy has ended, and death has occurred... the death of that season. Pregnancy is over. Death for this precious Son is imminent. I say this not to be morbid but instead to stir HOPE. For, I have learned that new life is birthed out of the death of something else. It is the very circle of life.
Pastor and I have been processing our own last birth story these past few days. Tears have poured as we have shared hearts and touches. Remembering the cost of Lincoln, Tucker and Charli's story today. I am sure at times any who read this blog might grow tired of the written HOPE, But HOPE is the main life-gift given out of the death of our boys. It is all that remains of them. So like any momma I press on to take care of... protect... and grow that which was birthed. It is a calling. One I accept with joy and pain.
Wow... so not intending for this to be a dark entry... but as I process Mary and her story I process my own. I think about her as a person and not as a character. I think about what this day meant for her... for her heart. So much relief from the physical but confident a new pain began the moment Jesus left her and entered into His new name, Emmanuel.
Emmanuel... what a costly name. Christ choosing to come be with us. To be near... to be humbled... to hurt... to ache... to suffer... to be HOPE's ultimate seed. For Mary, giving life to Jesus was a cycle of life and death. For she knew out of pain would come joy... and then more pain than she could imagine... and then ultimate joy. Such HOPE for the young princess... mother of Emmanuel. I would rather like to meet her... share tears... share HOPE.
Pastor and I would like to thank all of you for walking this road of FAITH with us. It's a rocky trail but we try to keep our eyes fixed over here on Ridgegate. We have been relying on many of you to help restore focus when we stumble. Thank you for being vision castors and hand-holders to our family. We have needed the body, and you have come alongside offering HOPE to the weary.
For if you are connected to us at all you know this year....
has been full of the tricky and awkward... trusting God in new ways is a humbling process.
The smalls in this home have been vessels of much supernatural activity...
The smallest monkey... in her strong will has taught me more about crying out to God that anything else in my life. To her I owe jars filled with tears... and a much larger view of Emmanuel.
The Story-teller is busy at work crafting masterpieces out of the bigger-smalls. Their hearts have been greatly affected by the birth/death cycle, and they have offered tender HOPE in ways that have forever marked this momma.
Oh... Pastor... He is changing. He has been given his new name, and he is learning to live out of it. The HOPE-reminder came last night as he struggled with flesh that he is not Good Pastor because of his behavior... he is simply good because of CHRIST IN HIM. The end.
Oh... as I look at this picture I see the gifts of HOPE... love runs deep over here... so deep. I am blessed to have such a handsome, loving prince by my side to walk through these life cycles.
Speaking of Princes... the richest gift this year happened only weeks ago...
Elliott was ushered in to the Holy. He is marked for the Kingdom. We are filled with JOY. JOY abounds. We are also aware that he is also now marked for attack... and we sense this has already begun. Much gifting is already present in this little package. He will have to exercise his little prince arms for he will need much strength and heart to carry HOPE's seed.
Princess Lu has discovered her own supernatural gifting...
She uses her gift of dancing feet to bless as we worship. It takes a momma's breath away to see her princess dancing with the angels for the King... blessed... so blessed that I get to see it happen this side of heaven.
Princess Shorty has received a gifting of passion as well...
This beauty has the gift of intercession and a heart for faith healing. She is talking to God through her tears and expecting miracles. She rubs off on me, and we share anointing through the blood.
Charli... What can I say?
At her tender age she leads to the throne room. No doubt in my mind or spirit, God has more miracles in store for this princess and those she dwells with. Certain they will continue to have great cost. So thankful for her life and warrior spirit... even if it makes me a momma-undone. After all, an undone momma get's to be re-sculptured for the kingdom... and new beauty is formed.
I never want to deceive...
This momma is not perfect... nor are her smalls. Life on Ridgegate is not always rosy. We are in process. Always somewhere on the death/life cycle clinging to the HOPE we profess.
Praying you have seen as you have Eavesdropped... the only thing that matters....
Emmanuel... The Promising One.... with us... TODAY and EVERYDAY... spreading HOPE'S seed.
Merry Christmas...
Happy Birthday, Jesus... thank you for your gift... thank you...
Happy Day of birth to you, Mary... thankful for your story of faithfulness... thankful for how your story brings healing to mine as I celebrate the life that was born out of the loss of your son.
May you sense the very PRESENCE OF EMMANUEL'S GIFT... even as you read this.
Christ is with us... sacred.
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