Walking in blindness will be my mode rather than faith.
Fear.... a life-long love - hate...
I had forgotten how intense it can feel... what it can stir up in me.
I'm learning to battle former ways with solid truth... causing flesh to die.
Even today... wrestling enters my head...
I have lived on Ridgegate Lane for over 6 years... informed at purchase they would potentially build behind me... NEVER any motion.
Today...
The day after the contract cancelled...
I see and hear...
This...
Oh... he's good... he knows where to get me... he knows my patterns... he desires to bulldoze faith's progress by ripping up soil...
Struggle and panic made its appearance... it REALLY wanted to stay...
Thoughts swarmed like "Who is going to want a house with construction in the back?" "No one is going to buy a house with that kind of noise... with that kind of mess." "You're really in for it now. "
"Face it... you're stuck."
Tears flowed hard and the young wept too... their hearts are tender for their momma.
They stood and pointed in disbelief.
It honestly felt like all the dreams I had been dreaming just a week earlier were being bulldozed with my backyard.
A forerunner's story speaks loudly today... right off the pages...
Kindred warriors SO ready to take hold of the promised...
But... before entry... we must battle on... conquering must still occur.
I follow his lead... I head the call to...
GO FORWARD.
My legs feel heavy today as I lead Ridgegate's race without Pastor...
My running mates... all 10 and under...
I see and learn... they are FULLY CAPABLE...
Without cue from their leader... they ask... hear... and see...
They tattoo it on their body for remembering's sake...
They teach...
They share battle plans...
Listen...
Believe...
Fight...
How does the young know such power? I stand amazed and I stand alert.
Offerings continue...
Elliott brings tenderness and talk of his brothers... it seems when life gets tricky they are his "go to"... like he is ministered to and through by his remembering and telling.
Princess Eloise brought the light of truth...
She too pens it out...
Fully living in the Proverb regarding the sickness that deferred hope brings...
Asking for promise eyes... and remembering the call of my marching hero...
Be strong and courageous... be VERY strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified or discouraged...
A life verse birthed with Charli and offered to me...
Learning today that it's not a mind over matter situation...
It's a remembering and recounting opportunity.
When I resist fear... when I fix and focus on Him...
My ears hear and my eyes see...
I have the ability to let this circumstance bless me as I bless Him for whom He is...
Provider.
Sustainer.
Forgiver.
Lover.
Creator.
Promise Keeper.
Healer.
Mountain mover.
Life changer.
Heart knitter.
Seer.
And my new personal fav...
The Great Realtor.
He speaks... and He NEVER lies...
In the temptation to doubt...
I WILL DECLARE...
Oh... I still have so much to learn...
Thankful for the smiles and signs from the smalls...
They cover the blank with life changing truths... "He fills in the gaps."
In regards to my faith...
In regards to proximity...
In regards to family time...
He covers over and fills in.
The enemy has some nice moves...
But our God trumps them all and He invites me to play in the game... on His team...
I accept and humbly ask that He not only be my song but...
My everything.
So blessed by the people that continue to sit beside me offering refreshment in the sticky heat...
Sharing and teaching strategies that trump evil with good.
I can't always see clearly...
I can't always hear clearly..
But... I can ALWAYS REMEMBER... and that one act brings healing clarity...
Much learning in this game of life... one breath at a time...
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