An Invitation to Eavesdrop: unchangeable truth

My unchangeable truth...
I have so much to be thankful for.
It would be impossible for me to recount...
All the showers Our God has rained down...
All the waterings He has poured out.

He is so very faithful.
So very, very good.

My momentary truth...
It's not really truth at all.
Appearing so convincing.
Attempting to steal from the unchangeable...
Or at least distract me from gratitude.

Fear...
Always disguising itself as truth.
Speaking even into the areas we are strong in...
Using our gift-tools to build doubt.

I must confess.
Because negotiations were so intense over The Rose of Sharon...

I have allowed the walls of my heart to entertain fear...
Keeping the spoon of celebration and feasting...

At arms length.

I shared with Pastor...

The dark stirrings and my struggle...

Exposing the lies swarming within...

I have repented and continue.

My past...

Full of sun and rain.

Though it has brought great growth...

The wreckage from the storms still haunt.

So longing for the dove and the olive branch...

Bringing good news of solid land for my feet.

All too easily stuck...

In the remembering of long days on the ark.

Quick to self-protect as a result of past pain.

The truest picture I can paint...

I feel like a woman on the verge of giving birth...

Only to deliver a stillborn dream.

I have had such labor.

When the waters broke...

It broke me.

The cracks left holes the enemy longs to seep through.

Papa is restoring the holes.
It's a tedious process, and I partner.

The truth...
He is bigger and better than ANY dream.
He can handle all my fears but invites me to rest in Perfect love.
Full of mercy and grace...
As well as zero tolerance for the untruths.

So today...
I learn more about the truth of trust.
Even when traveling on a path lined with long awaited harvest...
My legs are exercised right along with my heart.

Opening my hand fully to the joy of today...