This morning stunk. Deep sadness and frustration marked the morning. Clearly, our entire family was processing / feeling the major changes much more drastically on a Sunday morning. I was struggling. The kids were obviously struggling. Even little Charli communicated frustration with life.
Kel and I have felt that Emmiline and Eloise are innocent victims in this whole loss of a job situation. They lose face time with their friends too. A sweet friend agreed to take them to an hour of Sunday School throughout the summer just to minimize the blow they’re experiencing and allow them to continue something they really enjoy.
This idea made much sense in my head. The two older girls would enjoy what is familiar. Kelly and I would look for a place to worship and connect… not knowing how long that “connect” piece might last makes it much more difficult to purse. Anyways, this morning wasn’t an option for us to go to a church because our sweet niece is still in the hospital. We wouldn’t have had enough time before the girls got back, because Kel wanted to take Emmiline and Eloise with her to the hospital as soon as possible.
As the girls got ready for church, my frustration and sadness increased. Not only did I not have a church, but my family was going to be separated from each other. Later I found out (I had forgotten because my brain doesn’t work)… that they didn’t even have Sunday School for my girls today. I forgot that it’s a Memorial Day weekend.
Last Sunday was the first Sunday since my termination had been made public. There was a piece of that Sunday that I could enjoy… the freedom from the frantic pre-church prep, the freedom from the mental check-lists of Sunday morning responsibilities, unrushed time together as a family to worship and talk about a scripture passage..., but we’ll just say I only enjoyed that for one Sunday. Today stunk. I miss church.
I still love Fellowship, but when I say that I miss “church,” well, I mean that I miss community, teaching and worship in the context of other believers… You know those Sundays when you’ve struggled to stay awake during the sermon? I can admit to those Sundays. It’s strange to admit because Fellowship has some of the strongest teaching anywhere. Well, the thought goes through your head that it would be nice to be sleeping… well, let me just tell you that it stinks not having a church home. It stinks not getting to go to church where you have some degree of connection. It just stinks.
Not sure where we fit now. Not sure where we’ll be a few months from now. Not really enjoying the unknown.
hey Adam i wasn't sure how to reach you so this doesn't apply to the blog.i just got back from camp and i feel like i should share some things with you. since you are not at church and spencer is about to graduate a few guys feel that we are being called to step up and lead in the high school ministry. we have had you and spencer to teach and guide us so we feel like the younger kids in the high school need someone they can relie on and talk to that has more knowledge. we realize we do not know everything and we need to grow still but something we do have is a burning passion for the lord and what he has planned for us. we are also pushing each other to dig into Gods word and prayer. we love and miss you but we are not going to waste all the work you have done in, around, and for us. we are going to go out and pursue kids at church and in the world. thanks for doing so much for me and every other guy we love and miss you Adam.
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