walk and weep

This princess has been very drawn to the story of Joseph lately... more than just his story I have been captivated by his heart.

A beloved son that faced scandalous opposition, and yet favor rested firmly upon him.  Evils that were meant to destroy were used for the divine. 

The tapestry of colors appeared amuck, but from the Makers view it was marvelous. 

Joseph... a story worth reading again and again, but what woo's my heart is this...

he was a man that wept.

He wept a lot!

In spite of his hard often bitter circumstances his heart remained tender.  So tender he often couldn't control himself.  

I am drawn to the weeping heart of Joseph.

His story is great... 

his character... astounding...

his forgiveness... unheard of... 

his faith... history changing... 

his heart... a masterpiece...

but...

it's his offering of fragility that speaks loudest.

My heart sings songs of gratitude for the "Joseph" pioneers that faithfully travel the trail of tears.  I am thankful for their stories and their fight to keep the sacred tenderly alive.

Today I have wept myself...  feeling very much like a minnow swimming in Lake Superior.  Everything feels so big and I feel so tiny.  

How will this princess win the battle of learning?  My brain so small and so much new.  What does it look like to honor when wrestling with the unknown?

 My heart says to my soul as I type... "weep and walk."

No sparkles here... no sequins... no oohs and ahhs... just me, tissues, Jesus and the smalls.  All learning together... all crying out. 

Following the call to pioneer.  On my own I do not know how to do this... so I request my army of little hands to touch and pray for their momma-soldier. 

Wondering... how am I going to do, "Dayton life."  This does not feel like home.  I do not know how to get to Target.  I can barely find the bathroom where we are staying.

Truth is... my princess eyes are being distracted today by all the false evidences appearing real.  Fear.  I know in my spirit that God will supply all the grace I need when I need it.

Not my "try-harder, keep my chin-up flesh..." 

GRACE!

So thankful for grace freely given... that NEVER runs out.

Today, my resolve just feels a bit lethargic and my eyes a bit heavy with the waters of the heart.

So I ask me...

What does it look like to walk like Joseph today?  I think it looks like...

giving myself permission to weep... 

not forgetting the dreams that were sewn into me...

allowing myself to feel worn...

and...

honoring the teller of my story by...

weeping...

holding the hand of grace

and walk...

with faith eyes.

It means faith and obedience... it means deliverance and expectations.  It means that the Mighty Arms that call also lovingly hold the weeping ones.

Eyes flooded but still fixed.

I am learner of Joseph.  May my story reflect similar faithfulness... the call to walk and the call to weep.

May favor also abound.