Learning to see

I've become more comfortable admitting that there are things that I do well.  I used to think it was humility to say, "Oh, I'm not that good at such and such."  The truth was that it was just lying.  I really am good at a few things.  To deny that would be to deny the Spirit within me; however, I have much, much to learn.  The Spirit has given me a hunger to learn.  In fact, "learner," is a word that describes me.  I get to learn a lot b/c I often forget what learn... thus, I get to learn it again.

A few days ago I welcomed the offer of a challenge from my princess.  I've asked her to teach me to see the way she sees.  I've realized that what I see is a reflection of what I am about... what I believe... what I do... what I feel... Basically, what I'm saying is that I project thoughts, feelings, connotations onto whatever image I'm looking at...

I looked at the picture below.  I saw me.

Not a very attractive bird.  Would probably be best described as an ugly duckling.  That might be a visible representation of how I often view myself.  Not that good at anything... like this duck, very self-conscious that others might be looking at me... watching me... noticing my blemishes / mistakes / deficiencies... notice the messes I make.

Do they see my droppings?  Are they grossed out, annoyed, disgusted at how I'm not measuring up?  Do they look at my work and see the image above?

Then I have moments of thinking that maybe we all feel this way.  Maybe we're all always wondering what everyone else might be thinking about us... wondering what they might be seeing when they look at us.  Maybe we're all messed up?

We've all got our blemishes.  We're all needy.  We're all self-conscious... questioning if there's any beauty in us.

Then I ask myself... "If my beliefs / experience / thoughts cause me to project onto things I see, what is it I'm believing?"

For example... take a peek at this picture.

I wonder what you see when you look at it.  I see survival material.  You might be clueless as to what I'm talking about.  I have a strange fetish with survival-related television shows (Alaska Experiment, Man vs. Wild, Dual Survival, Survivorman, Man Woman Wild, etc.).  I don't even watch that much TV!!!  But these shows do something to me!  Anyways, they teach that cattails are a great resource for the person trying to survive.  Depending on what stage of maturity (the season) they can serve different purposes.  You can actually eat the part of the cattail that is underground!  I've hard it doesn't even taste bad.  When they're dryer (like this one), the tops are amazing for fire tinder.  They are very dry and take a spark incredibly well.  Or, you can use them to insulate to keep warm.

Probably not what you saw when you looked at this picture.

As I'm wanting to learn to see I'm wondering what lies am I believing that are limiting my vision?  What lies am I projecting onto what I see?  What truths need to be re-learned?  What would it feel and look like to see through the perfect lens of truth?

Wondering.  Hoping.  Growing.  Trying.