ride of my life...

This life...

Full of wild rides...

My share has been plentiful these past few years...

And... you can be sure... 

If I continue on this path....pursuing the wild of God... 

More await around the bend...

Many days...

I am tempted to believe the lie that someone has placed me on a vehicle much to big for me... 

That I am too small for these types of adventures...  

What I hear makes sense to what I see...

But causes confusion in my bigger than body heart.

Smiling... 

I accept the invitation to close my eyes to ALL the ways I seemingly don't fit...

 

Still aware of the confusion in my soul... I die to questioning... I reposition my gaze.

One of my many tools are...

Pictures of those who have ridden before me... whispering instruction... reminding me of truth... 

Blessing me with visuals of how to travel on in faith.

NEVER FORGETTING...  the strong hands... behind me... directing me... keeping me safe...

For... He always stands at the right hand of the needy one...

Ps. 109 vs.31

This... 

Just one of many wild rides...

Somedays... riding while another pedals for me.

Somedays... pedaling for myself.

Everyday... cheered on by great clouds of witnesses...

Wanting to retain the heart of a child... 

Thankful for Big Wheels... adventures that cause butterflies... and the rides of my life.

together

After 17 hours in the car I arrived safely home.
The hour and a half my brother and I spent with my mommy and family at the funeral home was rich.
It was right to be with her... to be together.
Dying... a rite of passage... one that should take place surrounded by those you love.
The eyes of my heart watched closely as sibling bonds grew stronger through sharing crisis.

All that being said...
Yesterday will probably go down as one of the most important days of my life.
God bestowed upon me the rich gift of unhurried time with one of the people I love most...
My brother.
We have not shared that much play time since we were kids.

God gave us to each other.
Gifts to be treasured.
Treasure him... I surely do.

Yesterday just confirmed to my spirit what I already knew to be true...
I am still a little girl that has much to learn from her brother...

Though... I... the older... 

Learner of most things first... 

I value all that he has to speak and teach into my story.  

I keep my eyes on him... continuing to ask him to demonstrate how to use these faith legs. 

So much of our stories spent dancing through life together...

Similar tunes...

Similar moves...

Similar heartbeat...

Still... he has steps... I haven't figured out yet.

He motions in ways that stir me towards new rhythms...

I could not love him more...

I tackle any and every chance I get to be with him...

Locking on...embracing opportunity...

Hungry to create more stories... to know His heart.

In seasons of growing life... and equally important...

Seasons of death.

For days are numbered for each...

Increasingly thankful that even as one chapter of our story ended... new ones were being written... 

Side by side... 

As we journeyed together.

Thankful to be home with life's little authors at Hope's House...

Always busy writing letters of love...

One day all to soon they will repeat the actions of my aunt's and uncles...

The actions of me and my beloved brother...

Holding each other tight... extending arms of love...

Embraces offered in remembrance.

Oh... I will accept the invitation to fully live today.

To fully love.

And to fully thank God for His blessings on my life.

Wanting to faithfully live out of love and not regret... 

TOGETHER!

This Sabbath

Thank you, Jesus!

Even "cranks" as Bud calls them...

Rest on the Sabbath.

This "set apart" will be different for the Hopefuls.
The small Faith-Walkers will take off their shoes and rest apart from Pastor and myself...

Pastor... still in Ohio.

Me... I will be traveling to a different part of Ohio today with my brother.

My Grandfather passed away this week.

Our Sabbath will be spent reflecting...

Remembering.

Retelling.

Consoling.

This Sabbath... filled with sacrifice.  

Not because I could be doing something "more fun" or because it is a crazy, whirlwind of a trip... but because I will have to die to comfort.  

I will have to watch my mommy weep  and say "good-bye" to her daddy.

This Sabbath... well with my soul... so very hard on my heart.

Thankful for truth words being offered up across the world today.

Praying the Spirit would stir and lead...

That I might be an agent of healing... especially on this Sabbath....

Never forgetting one of the greatest truths taught to me in my youth... 

"There is NO time off from the Gospel." 

May I prove faithful!

Praying this Sabbath is Gospel-rich for you and your family... 

Full of rest and reflection.

Blessings,

The Hopefuls

truth and light

Most mornings start out a bit groggy...

I have to rub off the slumber from my face... heart... and mind...

Most of the time caught staring in wonder...

Looking around to see... 

What is God up to today? 

What's He doing in and around me? 

How does He want me to partner?

The eldest documents the sweetest of stair steps... Hopefuls still learning to watch and wait.  

Some days I need more physical comfort than others...

My smalls are like little care packages of Joy...

I wrap my arms around and squeeze tight.

Sometimes I don't know who needs who more...

Their stories lead me through doors I wouldn't have chosen... but having walked through them... 

I would never go back.

As evening dark approaches... I have just a few minutes to process and reflect... 

In the silence... deep creeps in... 

Remembering what was... what could've still been...

Now... 

Just a pile of mulched story and dreams...

I must be so cautious during these times... I could all too easily partner with the enemy without knowing it...

I am a woman fully aware that some of the most extravagant beauty is busy blooming during the darkest of nights...

Like my favorite peonies... 

Singing with scent... love-songs connecting me to my far away grandma... 

They remind...

No matter how bitter the winter... blooming occurs every spring...

Right on time. 

In the dark I know...

Beauty will surely burst forth... I just have to wait for it...

Like this fella... using my backyard like a playground...

I need to remember that there is amazing adventures to be had in the dark...

Especially when you are certain of the light waiting on the horizon...

Bringing truth and victory...

Love... always motioning and extending His hand...

Tending and teaching...

Desiring us to dwell in FULLNESS of joy...

Whether it's morning bright or dark night.

likeness

Never, ever, ever, ever have I ever seen as much drama as I see in this princess...

Do not let her beautiful face fool you...

She is 100% monkey.

A wild flower... blooming with laughter and life...

She freely expresses what I tend to hide away in my heart.

She is a dreamer, a cryer, a laugher and a lover...

And, boy... does she ever love her daddy.

Oh... she loves me... but she is in love with her Dad.
Say anything unfavorable about the Prince in her life and...

Your sure to get the stink-eye.

Pastor left his hat as a love token for this sassy royal...
She has been carrying it around like a lovie.
She sleeps with it like a blanket offering security.
It's her way of playing with Pastor in spite of Him being away...

She loves this stinky, faded thing.  She wears it with pride.

She loves it because it embodies likeness...

She longs for the nearness of her Daddy.

Her emotional outbursts always pointing to her lack...

I relate to the heart of my middle delight.  She longs to behold the face of her father.  I know that longing well.

Cherishing scripture truths this evening.  

Psalms of comfort...

"When we awake from the separation of the dark we shall be SATISFIED with HIS LIKENESS."

-emphasis added

The look of sweet satisfaction...

A picture I love to see.

Praying for a camera full of togetherness...

Giving my thumbs up and go ahead to what He has planned for us...

My face revealing the confusion still tossing around in my heart.

Oh my... this wild wonder.

Totally unprompted...

She keeps me laughing.

She brings good medicine to my soul.

She... like her Daddy bring immeasurable joy to my world...

Still so young and tender... 

Dazed and confused at times with all that stirs within...

Unknowns often feel frightening...

But... she knows she is free... and she loves.

In that love she longs to bear the images of her heart's affection.

She is playfully infatuated.

Like a child... always asking...

For one more minute...

That's what happens with love... the more we have the more we want... the more receive the more we resemble loves likeness.

Though most would say she is the only Hopeful child resembling me...

I see her looking more like her daddy everyday.

one of those

As I lie here...
Remembering what I wrote only hours ago...
Today... the start of our 3rd seven.
This morning... groom-less.
Pastor up and gone...
Ohio bound in the early dark.

Today is one of those days...

One of those days when I will have to fight for different viewpoints...

Planting my feet firm... 

I will force my eyes to see through barriers...

These ways of thinking still feel new and unusual...

But... they offer a change in perspective...

When the world feels upside down.

Pastor and I spent our last moments last night... holding... weeping... lamenting...

This is not a game.

We long...

We ache...

Our children grieve hard.

Togetherness is a desire that doesn't die.

Praying The Father changes my viewpoint today... 

Needing His eyes... baby vision replaced by The Higher.  

My perspective often falling short...

Still certain of His perfect love...

Aware that I am not forgotten, and He is at work on my behalf...

Just longing... 

As I bring all of who I am...

I long to FULLY FEEL His affection today...

My little ones look on... trying to see for themselves...

I will motion us towards the only One who can satisfy...

The One that is always at our side...

Ready to receive... ready to give...

Yep!

It's one of those days...

My perspective must change in order for me to see the picture He sees...

I must look beyond the gray...

Searching for color rising on the horizon...

Enjoying hope reminders in my little world today...

Desperate daughters can find anchors even in breakfast cereal. 

I am such a daughter.

Choosing to make "one of those days..." a great one.

For the gracious hand of God is upon my life.

two 7's

Today marks the completion of two 7's.
14 years of marriage.  Hard to believe that so many years have flown by.
The girl in this pic...

She had no idea what she was entering into when she said "yes!" at the alter.

So many things needing to be put to death... to be sacrificed.

Both Prince Charming and His Beloved entered into covenant with loads of baggage...

I can assure you.  

These royals don't dwell in Disneyland...

But... we do dream and partner... 

Desiring our marriage... BETTER than fairytales.

Living in pursuit of this dream...

Pastor and I sneaked away for a couple hours this morning to share and reflect.

Remembering our sacred day was rich...

Recalling what God has been up to since... richer.

He is wrapping up a season.

Ending a 7.

Making something unfinished... complete.

Not sure what that means, but certain it is worthy of much celebration.

Thanking God today for my marriage and my prince...

Blessed to have a Pastor that uses the tender...

To awaken the slumbering parts of my heart.

Wondering what God has for these 2 peas for this upcoming 7...

Praying for jubilee...

Enjoying all our fruits today...

Celebrating with thankfulness today.

Chips and guac still to come...

Eyes and heart expectant for what lies ahead.

Day 1 starts again tomorrow.

Kinda like newlyweds... hmmm...  I like it!