Lying on my back

Pastor here today.  Enjoying the last drops of a special getaway with my bride.  Such a sweet gift.

Have had much difficulty resting... I mean both in terms of sleeping and in terms of resting my mind.  Much to celebrate... actually, tons to celebrate.  Also, tons to think about... so much to plan.  Brain can't stop spinning.

Spent some alone time the other day to be quiet and still... desiring to be very attentive to the Spirit.

 

Wanting to learn what it means to be radically obedient.  Sounds strange.  Wasn't sure but sensed the Lord telling me to lie down on the hardwood floor.  This was a little awkward because I wasn't the only one in the chapel.  Not certain if it was the Lord or the other weird voices in my head.  Didn't sense He was treating me like a dog.  Actually, have had a greater awareness of my sonship.  Just in case it was him... I lied down on my back.

This is what I saw.  Might seem normal to you, but I had a "Wow!" moment.  The change in perspective.  The invitation to think vertically.  The question someone had asked me recently sank in... "What is your ceiling?"  What higher level am I capable of?

Without altering our perspective it's easy to miss the cross... easy to miss all that the cross accomplished.  Easy to miss His reminders.

In effort to give my brain reminders of how He's at work in my journey I spent part of my time by browsing through my journal... have not been very consistent with it in the last season.  Reading it made me feel gross... made me feel much pain, much stress and frustration.  Know it's necessary to remember the stories... just not easy.  Danger of it re-opening an old wound.

Frustrated with how every entry included, "I just want..." - to know this... to receive this... to reconcile this...  Seems I was rarely present to the present!

Shortly after that gross feeling began to sit heavily upon my chest... a new, greater thought took over.  It was the thought of VICTORY!  I am invited to celebrate.  I have not given up.  I am pursuing to "hold fast to the hope that I profess" (Hebrews 10) because He who promised is faithful!  His promises are true.  I will declare them and live in them.

Today clinging to the promise in John 14, "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing.  He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."    Claiming it now.  Expectant.  Alive.  Hopeful.  Looking in every direction for the still small voice.

Making baby steps.  Pausing to celebrate.  Longing to be present and attentive in the now.