because...

The light brings remembering truth...
REMINDING...

In this life...

We worship...

We REMEMBER what Jesus has done...

We REMEMBER that we are in a battle...

We REMEMBER to love one another...

We REMEMBER that there is great JOY ahead...

We Pray...

This... our true labor... 

So we honor the gift of MUCH NEEDED rest...

May Sabbath refreshment rain upon you...

-The Hopefuls

Sweet Land...

There is a lane ahead... filled with the sweet...

Paths to purpose lined with sticky snares...

I travel with the ones I love... 

They watch... learn... and await their turn...

We show compassion with setbacks

And we celebrate...

Progress.

As we watch Him work in and through our lives... our situations... we are awe filled.... He is the mountain mover.

Unbelief for what He can do has no room in our game.  

We never give up...

Because...  just when it looks like you are in last place... left behind...forgotten... 

He issues a new card...

Breakthrough...  propelling from last to first...

In a blink... everything changes.

Our lives... not based on "the luck of the draw."  

And as a dear friend recently reminded me... the light of glory is nearest after the darkest of darks...

Lot's of curves in the learning... lot's of sweet in companionship...

We keep on top of our instruction manual...

Walking the colorful path set before us... reaching our end and finishing well.

Everyone loves victory... hearing "job well done," brings delight to every face.

I so long to hear those words when my race is finished...

"That's my girl!"  "You did it!"  "You didn't give up!"

Living in mystery... partnered with The One who has it all mapped out.

nice move

The enemy is smart... he knows if he can keep me steeped in fear... I will boil with toxicity on the inside.
Walking in blindness will be my mode rather than faith.

Fear.... a life-long love - hate...
I had forgotten how intense it can feel... what it can stir up in me.
I'm learning to battle former ways with solid truth... causing flesh to die.

Even today... wrestling enters my head...
I have lived on Ridgegate Lane for over 6 years... informed at purchase they would potentially build behind me... NEVER any motion.

Today...
The day after the contract cancelled...
I see and hear...

This...

Oh... he's good... he knows where to get me... he knows my patterns... he desires to bulldoze faith's progress by ripping up soil...

Struggle and panic made its appearance... it REALLY wanted to stay...

Thoughts swarmed like "Who is going to want a house with construction in the back?"  "No one is going to buy a house with that kind of noise... with that kind of mess."  "You're really in for it now. " 

"Face it... you're stuck."

Tears flowed hard and the young wept too... their hearts are tender for their momma.  

They stood and pointed in disbelief.

It honestly felt like all the dreams I had been dreaming just a week earlier were being bulldozed with my backyard.

A forerunner's story speaks loudly today... right off the pages...

Kindred warriors SO ready to take hold of the promised...

But... before entry... we must battle on... conquering must still occur.

I follow his lead... I head the call to...

GO FORWARD.

My legs feel heavy today as I lead Ridgegate's race without Pastor... 

My running mates... all 10 and under...

   

I see and learn... they are FULLY CAPABLE...

Without cue from their leader... they ask... hear... and see...  

They tattoo it on their body for remembering's sake...

They teach...

They share battle plans...

Listen...

Believe...

Fight...

How does the young know such power?   I stand amazed and I stand alert.

Offerings continue...

Elliott brings tenderness and talk of his brothers... it seems when life gets tricky they are his "go to"... like he is ministered to and through by his remembering and telling.

Princess Eloise brought the light of truth... 

She too pens it out...

Fully living in the Proverb regarding the sickness that deferred hope brings...

Asking for promise eyes... and remembering the call of my marching hero... 

Be strong and courageous... be VERY strong and courageous.

Do not be terrified or discouraged...

A life verse birthed with Charli and offered to me...

Learning today that it's not a mind over matter situation...

It's a remembering and recounting opportunity.

When I resist fear... when I fix and focus on Him...

My ears hear and my eyes see...

I have the ability to let this circumstance bless me as I bless Him for whom He is...

Provider.

Sustainer.

Forgiver.

Lover.

Creator.

Promise Keeper.

Healer.

Mountain mover.

Life changer.

Heart knitter.

Seer.

And my new personal fav...

The Great Realtor.

He speaks... and He NEVER lies... 

In the temptation to doubt...

 I WILL DECLARE...

Oh... I still have so much to learn...

Thankful for the smiles and signs from the smalls...

They cover the blank with life changing truths... "He fills in the gaps."  

In regards to my faith...

In regards to proximity...

In regards to family time...

He covers over and fills in.

The enemy has some nice moves... 

But our God trumps them all and He invites me to play in the game... on His team...

I accept and humbly ask that He not only be my song but...

My everything.

So blessed by the people that continue to sit beside me offering refreshment in the sticky heat...

Sharing and teaching strategies that trump evil with good.

I can't always see clearly...

I can't always hear clearly..

But... I can ALWAYS REMEMBER... and that one act brings healing clarity...

Much learning in this game of life... one breath at a time...

today's tears

Today... a day we will retell for years to come.
We'll start out with that endearing statement "remember when?"
"Mimi and Poppy Vaughan" older and more "seasoned" by life will recount how good God is to their grandchildren.
They will declare to the learning how His hand ALWAYS ushers in blessing even in our hurts.
We will pat the fruit of our smalls... rock in our chairs and smile.
Yes... that will be us...

But that is then and today is alive with tears.
We found out this evening (Wednesday) that the contract on our home fell through.
It felt like a punch in the stomach.
I fought against the lie that I am a fool... against shame... failure...
I am weary.  I am sad.  I want family... all of it.

Really the only thing I can relate it to is the miscarriage I had before Emmiline came to be.
Excitement was alive as we shared our news.  So busy picking out names and dreaming about tiny clothes.
Cups full and overflowing.
Then our big day came... the official heartbeat visit... the day it all becomes official... we will see our seed beating with life...
Except... that wasn't what happened.  The momma-hopeful only saw a lifeless little sac.  My heart sank with ache... the main thing that stands out about that moment was a groan that came deep from my spirit... "He is good... no matter what happens."

I uttered those same words tonight as my smalls and I pulled out of Target... waiting to hear about Hope's House.  It was if my soul knew something my mind didn't.
When the call came... ache took over and watered.  The smalls and I talked and grieved together... I so longed for Pastor to be here... to tend and mend.
I asked Princess Emmiline... the proclaiming one... to give me a word... she had two...
BELIEVE and FIGHT... good words.

Crying and crying out tonight... most likely I'll cry some more.
But, I have lived through enough trial to know that His ways are always best.  His timing perfect.  He is at work in a realm unseen to my eyes... busily working on my behalf.  Worship will remain my weapon... and I will sing it out...

He is good... He can be trusted.
He welcomes my tears and draws near in their midst.

As I look at the two beauties before me... I realize it is so very good for them to see their momma grieve. My tears keep me tender... it paves the way for vulnerability in their own stories.

Tonight... I feel much like Dorothy from the Wizard Of Oz... Clicking my orange sneaks...

Uttering truths...
He never stops doing me good.
He never stops doing me good.
He never stops doing me good.

Oh how He loves me... with a love that casts out ALL fear and makes me stronger in the wait.

This month's verse for Ridgegate Lane is from the all too familiar LOVE chapter...

Just hours earlier the smalls were rehearsing and reminding their momma teacher...
Love...
Bears all things... believes all things... HOPES all things...
LOVE NEVER FAILS...IT NEVER ENDS!

Whether in grief or celebration I have have been beckoned by the King through the mouth of my eldest princess to... believe and fight...

So thankful for her story... knowing full well if the death of my first biggest dream hadn't occurred neither would she...

Yes... we shall be recounting ones... and someday all too soon we will rain down testimony and water the lives of others like spring showers...

Singing then and singing now... always singing...

If only I can fight just a little longer

I know It’s gonna make me stronger

I just keep holding on to what I believe

Oh, I believe in you

Give me the strength to fight

And the heart to believe

 When it’s hard to believe in you

-Jamie Grace

it happens so fast...

Spring has sprung...

Each new season sneaks up on the one before.

One day you are shivering in winter and the next you are fanning yourself in the hot spring.

Green... it's booming and blooming... 

Shoots soon to blossom cover last seasons dormant... awe increases.

SO thankful for the beauty of today... and for The God that tends to my heart.  He causes me to see what I would miss in haste...

He bestows bouquets of blooming...

A crown of remembering for my heart.

Just as I had suspected... Spring has sprung early and Lincoln's tree... again is the first to bloom.  It adorns Ridgegate's skyline with hopeful beauty... it adds unedited color that takes my breath away.

Oh... I shall miss my trees... Ache shall bloom each spring.   Trees filled with story watered with tears.... 

Tucker's and Charli's will soon birth buds as well.

They wait in the backdrop for Spring's story to begin anew in them.

With Spring it's like the whole world comes alive... everyone wants to be out... all God's creatures enjoy the sunshine and the fellowship that winter turned cold.

We find things to wash and clean just so we can be outdoors...

The work of our hands feels more like play...

Delight abounds in the glory of spring.  It is a vehicle for the new.

New has been a theme in our home for a couple of years now from multiples to multiple deaths... learning how to parent a NICU baby... how to bring her home... be a family... how to feed all our flock... how to have new hope... firings... dreaming... searches... new Spirit hunger for our marriage and family... a new job... new city... new church... new relationships and a new home underway.

Lot's of new...

So much blooming... it happens so fast...  

Longing to be a little princess that sees... stops... smells... and breathes deep of every adornment the new brings.

For all too quick this season will make way for the next.

Enjoying the scents of today.

paved

Still marching on the path set before us...
Pretty sure we'll march until the trumpets sound...

Somedays... paved with endless winding...

Others... dead-ending right in front of the flourishing...

Our Hope and Faith Pastor is shepherding another flock this week... 

Our time of retreat... sharing hearts over coke dates have quickly expired.

He continues the fight to scribe testimonies of faith and blessing...

Recording HIS story through our history for future generations...

Remembering today... 

I am a fellow worker of the King...

Commissioned to pump into the deep and water with the eternal...

I am His field... housing beauty... fruits climbing and filling each branch with hidden treasure...

I am His building...

Clothed in white...

Resting on foundations stamped with red love...

Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 3... I will receive wages according to my labor...

As I press on... walking the paved of today...  I desire to be a faithful farmhand.  

I'm kinda into BIG PAYCHECKS!  

Not just waiting for Heaven's reward I look for stipends here too...  

There are many, many blessings for those who labor with seeing eyes...

Treasures pave the earth along every path... even in the weeds of our lives... 

They too contain gifts.... 

Monarch worthy... Often unseen...

Trampled on by most... Plucked and disposed of... heads blown off... 

Seen only an inconvenience... an eyesore...

Grace... it speaks new names... new beauty... 

It marks the core of dandelions... 

I see... it whispers... it encourages... "keep looking..."

So...  I strain to see all the beauty that is paved along the way...  and I teach the small...

And...  I learn from the joy weeds can bring to the childlike.