big

Last summer...
Pastor and I embarked on one of the largest learning adventures of our lives.
A transition time for our journeys.
A marker for our entire family.

As I began to travel the new...
Learning to walk my days without my Good Pastor at my side...
I had to make a decision.
It was time to bring my fears into the light...
It was time for this princess to put on her "big girl panties."

Pastor and I jest about this a lot.

And, just as I was accepting my invitation...
He was being issued an invite of his own.

During an intensive week of summer school.
Brother Larry Crabb offered a wild notion to Pastor.
He said... and I quote...
"Adam, it's time to take your diaper off."

Seriously...

Those were his instructions.

It dramatically altered our compass.

Pastor has never been the same since.

Perspective change....

It's so very valuable.

Most  of our days spent focused on the debris underfoot...

Using the twigs as a crutch...

Instead of leaning on Papa.

Our hands must be open to the light of truth...

We must choose to enter into the polluted waters...

We've helped create.

Partner in the cleaning and rebalancing.

Being a babe of The Father give us freedom to stand bare...

Naked and unashamed.

He clothes us in freedom and love.

Always reminding us of His heart for us...

His desires regarding our behavior...

Being childlike a yes...

Childish...  a definite no! no!

He has given us two feet for a reason...

He fully intends on us using them.

This journey is long.

The path is lined with twigs and polluted waters.

And while serving a purpose for a season...

Before long...

Saggy diapers just weigh the growing down...

Stinking things up.

Pastor and I have also noted...

That when the diaper comes off...

The learning one can often leave an unfortunate trail.

Extra thankful for The God of ALL grace.

Papa is always joyful in the "try."

After all...

Walking by faith is VERY tricky...

But as we have learned...

The travel is much lighter...

When the diaper comes off..

And the big kid britches are put on.

Potty training still very much in process around these parts...

For the parentals at least.

You might want to watch your step and check your shoes...

Still learning.

Daddy food

"I have food to eat that you do not know about."
"My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to accomplish..
HIS work."
-Jesus

Being Kingdom-minded...
Means being aware of what our bodies take in.

Attentive to not only what feeds the physical man...

But... more importantly...

The Spiritual.

Somedays...

The bigness of it all can leave us feeling blank with uncertainty...

Others...

Full of courage as we announce our certainty like a lion.

Smirking off the lies that we are too feeble to partner in feeding ourselves...

We use our fuel to fight the good fight...

Our hearts train our hands as weapons...

Shooting webs of love throughout the earth.

He has all we need to sustain our little bodies...

He is the source that fills every craving...

Daddy food.

The perfectly Whole food.

Equipping us to do HIS work.

story teller...

I am  a woman that loves story.

Always turning thoughts... dreams... hopes...
Into some type of adventure.
Most of the time it's a blessing.
Other times it causes deep pain...
The "make believe..."
It can set me up for great disappointment.
He knows...
His red love brings refreshment there too.

I do believe that story is a big part of our Papa's heart.

A way He uses to bless His children.
For, we all know...
Every small loves a good story.

And, He is The Master Story Teller.
He takes us...
Little Raggedy's...

Untangles us from our traps...

Rescues us from...

The pit.

He exposes the lies.

Cleansing us...

From our childish behaviors.

Painting new illustrations... 

He feeds our minds and hearts.

With fresh footage.

In our stories...

There are innumerable mysteries...

Rises...

Falls...

And climaxes.

Chapters of struggle and hope...

Engraved on the pages of our hard spines.

The shelves of our lives are lined...

With story after story... 

Story is dear to His heart.

True romance novels... 

They are His favorite content.

Passionately singing...

The greatest story over and into us...

Always keeping perfect time.

As we devour the reading...

Our hunger...

For more of His likeness

Consumes and fills us with new songs.

Choosing to live out of The Words of Truth...

Out of the fullness of the story He has already written about me.

Crazy that I am smack dab in the middle...

Of the best story of my life...

Christ... IN ME.

The Writer...

Already completed the work...

Yet remaining...

A never ending story.

What a wild God!

What wild stories!

Classics!

Longing to be a faithful story and storyteller.

One worthy of the read.

Forever a pilgrim...

Gold dust...

Fairytales...

And all.

They're just part of my "Happily ever after."

gutter...

Fear...
It keeps our mind in the gutter.

It feels scary to the growing...

Battling lies...

Walking lanes in the dark...

Even when holding the hand of our Father.

Last night...

Pastor and I ached as we watched the women's gymnastic finals.

Vault skills up for testing...

On display for the world to see.

Instead of flair...

Fear reared its ugly head.

Proof...

It was on the faces of each daughter...

Fear can rob us of our freedom if we let it.

All those minutes... hours... days... years... of faithful training.

All coming down to this one test.

An opportunity to freely display their giftings.

The best in the world...

Terrified little girls.

They leaked fear...

And it rained down hard on each princess that followed...

Pouring down even onto the viewers.

The strong...

Choosing to be overcome.

Standing weak... frail... needy.

Choosing to carry the heaviness...

They didn't train for.

Their minds could not let go.

All I could do was ACHE.

Ache and pray.

This is such a picture of my own story...

I train in the secret places...

In the dark...

When no one else sees.

I practice.

Progress is made.

Courage is built.

Papa teaches.

I learn.

I choose carefully...

Over and over again I pick up the ball...

I try.

With the Spirit's help.

My life gives way to The Light.

I illuminate...

Reflecting His great ability in me.

The strength of His hovering presence.

But trouble always returns...

As I try to carry the heavy...

All by myself.

Easily discouraged when things don't line up.

When the ball drops and the goal seems out of reach.

I let my focus shift from my Papa...

To surroundings.

I become...

Very afraid.

I leak...

It contaminates the atmosphere.

My mind returns from God to the gutter.

I love risk..

But I hate to gamble with fear.

Still learning what it looks like to join the Faithfuls...

The ones that came before...

Shining light on the dark black...

Knocking down the pins of deceit.

And though I may not be training for a medal.

I am going for the gold.

And in the ache...

When I am caught taking my eyes off truth...

I know my Papa is right beside me...

Helping me with the heavy...

Letting me practice again...

So I am ready for the next round.

I do this not to earn a place on the podium...

But because...

Before the vault even begins...

He has already placed the crown of victory upon my head...

Trying to live from the awards ceremony backwards.

I have already been given the prize.

There is no fear where love has already perfectly won.