gutter...

Fear...
It keeps our mind in the gutter.

It feels scary to the growing...

Battling lies...

Walking lanes in the dark...

Even when holding the hand of our Father.

Last night...

Pastor and I ached as we watched the women's gymnastic finals.

Vault skills up for testing...

On display for the world to see.

Instead of flair...

Fear reared its ugly head.

Proof...

It was on the faces of each daughter...

Fear can rob us of our freedom if we let it.

All those minutes... hours... days... years... of faithful training.

All coming down to this one test.

An opportunity to freely display their giftings.

The best in the world...

Terrified little girls.

They leaked fear...

And it rained down hard on each princess that followed...

Pouring down even onto the viewers.

The strong...

Choosing to be overcome.

Standing weak... frail... needy.

Choosing to carry the heaviness...

They didn't train for.

Their minds could not let go.

All I could do was ACHE.

Ache and pray.

This is such a picture of my own story...

I train in the secret places...

In the dark...

When no one else sees.

I practice.

Progress is made.

Courage is built.

Papa teaches.

I learn.

I choose carefully...

Over and over again I pick up the ball...

I try.

With the Spirit's help.

My life gives way to The Light.

I illuminate...

Reflecting His great ability in me.

The strength of His hovering presence.

But trouble always returns...

As I try to carry the heavy...

All by myself.

Easily discouraged when things don't line up.

When the ball drops and the goal seems out of reach.

I let my focus shift from my Papa...

To surroundings.

I become...

Very afraid.

I leak...

It contaminates the atmosphere.

My mind returns from God to the gutter.

I love risk..

But I hate to gamble with fear.

Still learning what it looks like to join the Faithfuls...

The ones that came before...

Shining light on the dark black...

Knocking down the pins of deceit.

And though I may not be training for a medal.

I am going for the gold.

And in the ache...

When I am caught taking my eyes off truth...

I know my Papa is right beside me...

Helping me with the heavy...

Letting me practice again...

So I am ready for the next round.

I do this not to earn a place on the podium...

But because...

Before the vault even begins...

He has already placed the crown of victory upon my head...

Trying to live from the awards ceremony backwards.

I have already been given the prize.

There is no fear where love has already perfectly won.