New Stuff

Yesterday Kel wrote about "good stuff."  Today I'm sensing it's the season for "new stuff."

Man, so much new.  So much to learn.  Feeling pretty powerless at the moment.  So wanting to do my job (really what I sense is my calling!)... the whole shepherd and disciple seems to be rather difficult without relationships.  Hard to be patient as relationships form.  Seems I'd be an expert at waiting by now.  Still not there yet.  Not sure that I ever will be.

Missing my family.  Love my family.

Life is new.  Life is changing.

Normally if I'm going to run any kind of errands I take Bud with me.  He's my sidekick.  Wherever I go, he goes (if it's acceptable).  Well, as much as I love that little rascal, sometimes his barrage of questions makes me feel like my nerves have been fried.  Imagine someone shooting a machine gun of questions at you, but the tricky thing is that the machine gun never runs out of bullets.  There's not even a pause to reload.  Most of the time that's how I feel in the car with Bud.  A lot of the questions don't make any sense.  If he happens to run out of questions, he starts repeating other questions that either he liked... or he wasn't satisfied with my answer.  To be completely honest, I've even told him I couldn't answer his questions any more because I needed to sing.  Sad, but true.  Thought it might help me maintain what little sanity I had left.  Not sure if it helped.  No evidence to support it worked.

Anyways, I'll bet that I wasn't 10 minutes into my drive to Dayton that I missed that little dude.  The car was too quiet.  No one was asking me questions... You'd think I'd enjoy at least the first hour or two... maybe more, but I missed that little guy before I drove passed West Town Mall.

Much, much new stuff.  New administrative systems.  New people.  New opportunities.  New needs from the Lord.

Family is changing, but so grateful that whatever new ventures we undertake... we'll remain family.  Just wish that meant "together" being family.

Curious what other "new stuff" might be on the horizon.  Ready to press into new stuff in much closer geographic proximity.

good stuff

Today has been a great day.  Pastor HAS A JOB that he left for.  I got to have unhurried time with my princesses while Adam's mom held an open house in our home and I was blessed with the gift of sharing laughter, food, tears and play with my best friend, my mom.

No dental work today.  No hospital visits.  Everyone I dearly love is alive and well.  We have a warm and cozy home.  WE HAVE INSURANCE.  I had yummy sweet potato fries for dinner.    I have lots of small friends living under my roof.  I am sitting next to a warm heater listening to the rattle of a pull up on a four year old man child and the house is full of laughter...good stuff.

The day has been full of... good stuff.  Charli is doing really well.  She is talking more, learning baby signs and mastering the art of peek-a-boo and enjoying being a copy cat.  She still isn't eating as much as they want her too... she is way too opinionated for that business, but she is behaving like a real baby... a growing, curious, exploring princess on the move.

Tonight, while I was attempting to make dinner she was trying to stand everywhere.  No matter where I put her or left her she would crawl over to a place and stand.

She is a mini-woman that desires to go... she is sick of sitting still.  I can relate to that.  I love love love that she is healthier... stronger... and making progress.  I just don't want it to become my Jesus and it could... but, at this moment, I just want to celebrate and enjoy the the victory... she is sick no longer...this little lady is full of life.

Tonight my heart was filled with joy as I watched her belly laugh, eat her food, play with her brother and sisters and chew on a chip.  It doesn't take a lot to make my heart smile.  On top of all that, I saw her begin to cruise as she was standing.  Progress... steps towards walking.  Isn't that what we long for the most...strong legs motioning towards growth?

We are all thanking God for the good stuff.  It is abundant...not in just the big but also in the small... I so desire a heart that is thankful for EVERYTHING... the obviously good... the day to days and the heartbreaking.   No matter the packaging God has blessed and is blessing.    I know it and....

I think she knows it too.  Gonna go enjoy more good stuff... praying you are doing the same.  May we all have seeing eyes!

New Shoes

Do you remember getting a special, new pair of shoes as a kid?  Man, it may sound strange, but growing up having the cool shoes was much more than important... it seemed like everything.  This was especially true in middle school.  I don't know why it was so important.  The fancy shoes didn't impress the girls.  As a guy, I think we really believed the shoes would enable us to do things that normally we couldn't do.  I remember thinking as a kid, "Man, these shoes make me run fast!"

Wish I had captured his face when he saw these bad boys on his feet!

These pictures are of Bud in his soccer cleats.  The cleats don't actually look like soccer cleats... probably more like football or baseball, but because I love soccer... we call them, "Soccer cleats."

I can't describe how excited Bud was to wear them.  Seems like we had them for a long time before he actually put them on.  That wasn't because of him not wanting to wear them... or him not asking to wear them... I've tried to remember why I was reluctant to let him wear them for so long.  Maybe I thought they were too big?  Maybe I was afraid they'd leave marks all throughout the house?  Maybe I thought they'd look strange with whatever clothes he was wearing at the time?  Regardless of why, I hate all of the reasons I didn't let him wear them sooner now.  He was excited and ready.  I should have let him lace them up even when they were huge on them because they brought him such joy.  Then I should have commissioned him to play.

Truth is... he's got the shoes on.  He's ready for action... he's excited... all day long his words and actions scream, "I want to play!"... but he has no idea how to play soccer.  Yes, we've played a little in the road with neighbors (of course... such good times), but Bud's always half the size (or less) than nearly every other player.  He does want to contribute though!

Well, I can really identify with my son lately.  Started my new job.  It feels like a dream job in so many ways.  There's a lot to the job.  I feel like the kid who's ready and excited... got my fancy shoes on... but I don't know what in the world I need to do.  Much to learn.  Hungry to learn.  Much excitement.  Ready to play.  Always ready to play.  Just need to learn the about the other players, need to learn about the game, need to learn everything...  Even in my state of knowing nothing I feel unbelievably so jacked up that I get to play.  Don't know what to do, but thrilled out of my mind.  Of course I can get overwhelmed like anyone else... that doesn't matter... similar to the old days, just like I expected the fancy shoes to make me able to do things that I had never been able to do, I'm 100% confident the Lord's going to use me to do things I never imagined doing.

risky hope?

Today we had our first official showing.  It was chaotic, but it felt nice to have a looker... especially since Pastor says we will have a contract by the end of the month.  We have another showing tomorrow.  We are hoping with a risky kind of HOPE...

Is their really another kind?  Isn't the very nature of hope risky?  I have strong desire.  I lay it out there naked before God and man and... HOPE.  For me, to hope means I am dreaming and believing that those dreams will come true.  I've been dreaming for awhile, and I still find that I have lots of dreams yet to be fulfilled.  God has already brought our youngest princess back from death's grip and the hospital more than once.  He has provided a job for Pastor... a really amazing job.  And, today we are all well, have more than we need, and on occasion Charli actually eats like a big kid.  All is really well with the Vaughans..., but I'm still hoping and dreaming.  I'm just crazy enough to hope that the person coming to see our home tomorrow will put a contract on it.  I am just looney enough to believe that God will bring a buyer in the worst market at the worst time of year to come and purchase this House of Hope.   I'm risky like that...

But, to be honest... I don't feel like it's that big of a risk.   For I know that God is ALWAYS working behind the scenes on my behalf.  He is an ALWAYS kind of God... always good... always...

 It doesn't mean His ways are mine, but it does mean his ways can be trusted.  Because He has a perfect gift for me and that perfect gift always casts out fear.

Whether I am wrestling fear regarding my babies, our job, our income, moving, selling, buying or just the daily struggle of what to feed my body...  I can rest in the Promising One.  I can choose to live out of something other than myself...  I can choose...

I often decline this invitation.  It's in my nature to flesh it out... not pretty.  But when I take the time to realign my thoughts on what is true,  I remember that I have seen My Mysterious King do the miraculous.  He has healed... is healing... and will continue to heal.  

Jehovah Rapha is a God of HOPE... BIG HOPE.  I don't know about you, but I need a BIG GOD!  We serve a God that wants His children to have risky, costly HOPE.   Is there any other kind worth having?

Still it can feel very frightening... to speak it out... to claim something unknown in the tangible.  It's risky.

I am thankful that my Good Papa calls me His bride and never stops romancing my heart in wild ways.

Not just a bride... His bride.  He is a wild God!  What God would offer such HOPE, such LOVE, such JOY, and such healing?  This God invites me to celebrate the blessing of the small like...

Babies that drink their bottles so they can come home...  pastors that search for months and land an interview and eventually get a dream job... momma's and daddy's that long for God to protect their little ones... not needing stitches... friendships... family... groceries... a warm home... a yellow sign in the yard... a Nana-realtor... lookers and a buyer... Q-doba's and ice cream. 

Today was the first.  Our first showing... small beginnings... yea!  Tomorrow holds a new adventure of its own.  And, as I wake up before the rest of my family, God will issue the same invitation that He issues to all everyday, "Today can be a day of HOPE for you...."  Will you risk and dance with me?

A word from a new friend

This happened about a week ago, but it's definitely been something I've wanted to share.

A new friend of my family's called me last weekend while I was in the hospital.  I could tell that she was very eager to share something with me.  Apparently, she had been on a walk when the Lord laid something very heavily on her heart.  After receiving this word from the Lord she couldn't get home fast enough to call me.  I'm grateful for this friend.  Let me preface this by telling you a little about this friend...

She has never actually met Charli.  In fact, she's never met any of our kids.  Kelly met her when she went with me for our interview in Ohio.  However, she excitedly entered into the spiritual warfare with us on her own initiative.  She's actually my new boss at the Vineyard in Ohio.

The Lord laid on her heart that the enemy's really had his grip on Charli.  Since the loss of Charli's twin brothers, Charli has carried around much death in her heart.  Even clinical studies prove a very special link between multiples (twins, triplets, etc.) and the pain they can carry with them associated to the loss of a sibling.  The enemy's grip seems to be weakening... it's as if wherever we've longed for life, the enemy has wanted to put death and grief in her heart.  Our hospital visit pertaining to her oral aversion and nutritional deficiencies were the enemy's last attempts of stealing life and joy.  Our new friend in Ohio has enlisted other warriors to join us in this battle.  In fact, a young pastor at the church woke up in the middle of the night last week.  He had received a dream about Charli.  He woke up immediately after the dream.  The Spirit laid on his heart this overpowering urgency... telling him that he must pray for our Charli.  The enemy is battling her.  He woke his wife as soon as he woke up, and the two of them joined us in this battle.

So grateful for all the old and new friends joining us in this battle.  Our friends (and family) have prayed for life... prayed for joy...  praying for freedom...

Celebrating that she has not struggled with throwing up one time since we've been home from the hospital!  That in itself is a miracle.

Little Charli's joy has returned... in fact, "returned," might not be the right word because she has more joy than she's ever had.  Still praying for her to take more of her special formula.  She'll go back for blood work in a little over a week.

rising

About six months ago my precious brother and his family gave us a sweet gift.  It was a love gift.  He gave us a gift card for us to grab a meal as a family when Adam got canned.  We were blown away by the gesture and tucked the card away deciding we would use it when it was time to celebrate.

After half a year of waiting and lots of praying, crying and seeking... our time finally came.  We got to celebrate as a family.  Not only did we celebrate Pastor's new job but we also celebrated our family.  We were together all six... all healthy... all eating something... all celebrating the reward of hope.

The kids drank deep the joy that comes with surprise celebrations.

Vegan cheese and safe bread made it a party for all.

Going out to eat is a huge thrill for our family because of our allergy situation.  I can count on my hands how many times we have been able to do this.  It blesses a momma's heart to see her kids giggle with thankful hearts.

All of my babies this side of heaven breaking bread over a restaurant table.  Smiles are everywhere.

I love looking across the table and seeing Pastor with his prince and a princess.

It blesses a family to share life together... eat together... make memories and celebrate God's faithfulness.

This day has been a long time rising in this raggedy heart of mine.  I am so thankful it has come...

I know that a longing fulfilled is a tree of life, and  I am a big fan of those life carrying trees.  They call out for Hope to arise in new ways so that next time there's a drought I can look around at my crop of life trees and REMEMBER... God's best is always coming... it's like this dough of hope... it just may need some time to rise.

party of 11

timing... seems it sometimes works for us sometimes against us.  Today we took the opportunity to embrace the unusual... 11/11/11 at 11:11am..

Pastor and I decided that when the clock turned we would ask God what wild thing we should do.  Pastor sensed that when the timed changed to 11.11.11 we should celebrate the sell of our home.  We should offer thanksgiving.    The sell is coming.  He has organized it.  We are just waiting on Him to reveal His plan and His timing.

So we rallied the kids in the family room.  Pastor told me to crank the music, and as Emmiline announced the time our home erupted with screams of thanksgiving, dancing, laughing and celebrating.  Our home was alive at 11.11.11... and long after that.

Pastor kicked it off with a lot of heart.

After much laughter the princesses and prince of the household joined in...

The older inviting the younger...

The young prince brings his offering of thanks...

and the princesses take a twirl with Pastor...

All are hungry to lock hands and dance with Pastor.  They have missed his touch.

The young prince is tipsy with joy, and small hands help pull him back to the celebration.

Pastor's wife puts the camera down... so far she has jumped, yelled and danced from afar.  She is ready to offer her dance of thanks.

Dancing with the princes and princesses of the kingdom is life-giving and so our offering starts yielding immediate returns.

Joy is in this place.  It is written on the young and the old.  It is seeping into the woodwork here... the slab... the very foundation.

We are creating an atmosphere of blessing in this house.  We are creating a culture of thanksgiving.  We are expectant about the miracles that follow thanksgiving. 

I am thankful for the unusual.  I am thankful for opportunities to see and respond... to choose wild dancing and laughter.  I am learning...

that celebrating thankfulness in the midst of the unknown is sweet medicine for the soul.

11.11.11... praying I would be aware that every moment is an invitation to choose thankfulness...